4th May 2019
Today the force was strong. It was a magical morning. A morning when everything finally clicks into place like a complex mechanical puzzle or a planetary alignment that once in a while slips into beautiful, obvious formation on some enigmatic path to solution. A brief moment of clarity where you not only glimpse the genius but the whole point of the puzzle and it makes such sense.
It has been a dark week of frustrations and self doubt BUT; this morning I said something I never thought I would say:
“I’m going for MY run”.
The ownership of it struck me. A defining moment. I was going to the park, in the mud and cold morning sun to run 2 miles – or thereabouts. I would be physically comfortable doing it and I was going enjoy it. It has become Normal.
I started running in May 2018. I was bigger and more unfit than ever. My mental health was suffering as was my body. My joints ached, the lethargy and the apathy. Good god the apathy. I wanted to be fitter and stronger so I could ride my bike for longer, have adventures and play like I used to and – like myself more.
I needed a simple focus that would push me out of my comfort zone. I have 2 cockapoos, George and Wilf who need walking every day. I had to go out with them so why not run instead of walk!
I started with couch to 5k. Those first runs, just 30 seconds on – 90 seconds off, burned and hurt but I kept going and slowly shuffled my way to this morning and MY Run. It’s MY thing now, something I just do, a habit, a go to tool. MY achievement. I’m proud of MYself.
I do not run fast, nor far. However, compared to me 2-3 years ago I’m an Ultra Runner! A Super Athlete pushing the earth beneath me, along the trail. I run through forests and along ancient paths forged and forgotten by animals and people. Every run a mini adventure.
I refocus and I recentre.
My bike riding has benefited dramatically. Running really beefs up supporting muscles that you just don’t use when cycling. It puts your respiratory system into overdrive. It is there when I need it now and can be called upon like a superpower.
I am learning to take advantage of these ‘alignments’ before everything whirrs out of sync again – and it will. Then, everything will shift back on to some cluttered and complicated path with no rhyme, reason, nor end; but:
Today I went for MY run.
Thanks for reading.